The Chronicles of Gravity Falls
by Psycho Delic263
Summary: This is my own Gravity Falls episode series, which is not like 'The Gideon Saga', a story I adopted. The episodes will be better than the original.
1. Chapter 1

**The Undead of Night Part 1**

Dipper and Mabel Pines, 15-year old twins, are riding on a bus from California to Oregon. When you're a teenager, all you ever want to do is play video games and watch movies. So, Dipper and Mabel's parents shipped them off to Gravity Falls, Oregon, because that was all they were ever doing.

"Hey Dipper, now that we're finally having a summer away from home, maybe I can finally have an epic summer romance." Mabel said happily. "Then I make new friends, talk to little animals, and have a..."

Dipper covers Mabel's mouth and says, "Choose what you want to do and stick with it."

Dipper was a brave teenager who likes to read mystery novels, and wears a long-sleeved shirt to hide his muscles for times when he doesn't need to show off. Mabel is an optimistic teenager who likes boys, sleepovers, pigs, etc. At least she's not a sweater bitch, right?

Anyway, the bus comes to grinding halt, and Dipper and Mabel step off the bus with their suitcases. They walk up to the Mystery Shack, the home of their Great Uncle Stanford Pines, who turned it into a tourist trap. Dipper rings the doorbell and waits patiently while Mabel jumps up and down like a impatient little child.

"Mabel, you're 15-years old. grow u- OW!" Dipper said, the door opening and hitting his forehead.

"Oh, sorry about that, kid." said an old man, probably in his 70s, wearing a fez. "Hi, I'm Mr. Mystery. Do you like to be befuddled and bewildered?"

"I like mystery novels, if that's what you're asking."

"Mystery novels? Oh, you're my great niece and nephew, are ya? Come in, come come." Stan opens the door for Dipper and Mabel, and they step inside. The shack is old, and has a gift shop in it. "Welcome to my humble home. Here you'll find attractions I used to scam people into paying me money."

"Like this goo on the ground?" Dipper asked, pointing to a mud stain on the floor. He moves his finger across it, and gives it a taste. He spits it out immediately. "Yuck! Taste like mud."

"It _is_ mud. Someone was in here with muddy shoes." Stan said. Dipper wipes his tongue off with his fingers. From the cash register, laughter can be heard. Dipper looks up to see a red-haired girl with a green-flannel and a lumberjack hat.

"Dude, that is so funny. I've never seen anyone that crazy to taste mud." she said.

"Laugh all you want, lady. From where I come from, I'm considered to be quite buff." Dipper said.

"Really?" asked the girl.

Dipper picks her up like a princess and says, "Yup. I don't think my parents were in any way noodle. By the way, the name's Dipper Pines."

"Wendy Corduroy, and wow, you are strong." Wendy said, feeling Dipper's arms.

"Oh. My. God! Love is in the air! EEK!" Mabel squealed. "Dipper, are you thinking about kissing her, holding her, or..."

"Whoa whoa, slow down, sis! We just met." Dipper said. "Why don't you go talk to the pale person with the black hood-jacket? He looks like he likes you."

"Ooh! Thanks for pointing him out!" Mabel said, now running towards the guy with the hood-jacket.

"Anyway, you said that you have muscles, kid?" Stan asked. "That's good, because I got a job for you. I need you to hang these signs in the deepest darkest part of the woods."

"Boring. I rather just sit around and watch Mabel humiliate herself in front of that guy over there." Dipper said.

"If you do, maybe I'll give you 20 dollars if you find something mysterious out there."

"In that case, sold!" Dipper said excitedly, dropping Wendy back-first on the floor.

"OW! Hey!" she said angrily.

"Sorry about that, babe. Gotta go! Bye!" Dipper runs out the door with a bunch of signs in his arms.

"Geez, what a dick." Wendy said annoyed.

Meanwhile, Mabel is flirting with the hood-jacket guy.

"My name is Mabel, but you can call me 'the girl of your dreams'. I'M JOKING!" she said laughing. "So, what your name?"

"Uh, Norm...man. Norman. I like to hang out with girls who don't find me terrifying and disgusting." Norman said.

"Don't worry. I find you to be dark and mysterious. Like a goth kid, or a zombie. Not that you _are_ a zombie, 'cause there's no such thing as zombies."

"I don't know, some people who have gone into the woods always feel like they're being watched. In fact, this guy with a red long-sleeved shirt just ran out into it with a bunch of signs."

"That's my big brother, Dipper. He can take care of himself. He's 15, like me. Course, he's about 5 millimeters taller than me."

"Right. So you wanna go...hold hands in the graveyard or something?"

"Oh yes I do! Don't wait up!" Mabel pulls Norman out the door.

Wendy, and another employee named Soos, who is fat and lovable, watch in bewilderment.

"Hey Soos, ever get the feeling that those two are in for a lot of trouble?" Wendy asked.

"Nope. They should be fine. After all, teenagers are really good at taking care of themselves." Soos said.

"I don't know. Maybe we should go find Dipper." Wendy pulls Soos out the door into the woods.

"What about work? KIDS!?" Stan shouted. "I'd fire them if I could."

Out in the woods, Dipper is hanging up the signs on the trees, which point straight to the Mystery Shack.

Dipper notices how dark it is and says, "Is it nighttime already? I didn't even notice." He pulls out a flashlight from his jacket, and turns it on. He tries to nail another sign onto a tree, but it makes a cling sound. He bangs on the tree again with his hammer in curiousness, and goes to the other side of the tree to find a switch with which he pulls. Behind him, a secret floor panel opens and he looks inside to find a book with a number 3 on a six-fingered hand.

"What's this?" he asked himself, picking up the book. He flips through the pages and stops at a page about zombies. " _Zombies are known for their pale skin and bad attitudes and are often mistaken for teenagers. The only way to kill them is to shine a light on them._ Eh, that's a whole bunch of bullshit."

"Dipper! Over here!" Wendy shouted, running towards Dipper with Soos in tow.

"Oh, hey Wendy and, whoever you are. I was just reading this crazy book I found and- Why do I feel something pulling on my leg?"

"Dude! LOOK!" Soos shouted pointing at Dipper's leg. They look down and scream at fright at the bloody hand that came out of the ground.

 **End of chapter. Personally, I think teenager Dipper should be clueless, weird, and idiotic. No offense to Dipper fanatics. Until next time. Ciao.**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Undead of Night Part 2**

Dipper, Wendy, and Soos watched in horror as ten zombies rose out of the ground.

"HOLY SHIT! Zombies have risen to get there revenge on mankind for abusing their graves!" Dipper shouted in fright.

"Okay, I know it's rude to judge a stranger, but that is just stupid." Wendy said.

The three run for there lives through the dark forest, evading branches and trees just to get away from those zombies. Dipper bumps into somebody and screams like a girl. He then realizes it's just Mabel.

"Oh. It's only you." Dipper said relieved. "So, how was your date with that pale- Wait. Was he a zombie too?"

"How did you know?" Mabel asked.

"Wendy, this big dude and I got chased by- Hey, wait a minute. Where are they?" Dipper asked worried. He hears screams of a girl a half a mile away. "WENDY!"

At another spot in the woods, the zombies have Wendy and Soos cornered. The zombies are getting closer towards them.

"Dude, is this the end of us, or is it just a dream? Somebody pinch me!" Soos shouted, pinching himself.

"Before we die, I have a confession to make...I'M A JINX!" Wendy shouted. "Bad stuff always happens to me, because I have this thing with getting into danger. And I'm supposed to be laid back about it, but I'm not! I'm always so stressed out!"

"So you're neurotic? That's good to know." said a voice from above. Two pairs of hands hoist Wendy and Soos up to a big tree branch. Those people turn out to be Dipper and Mabel. Dipper has a hard trouble trying to pull Soos up. "You really need to lose some weight, uh, what's your name?"

"Soos. It's short for- AH!" Soos punches a zombie off his leg. "Dude, that's just like what the zombies did in the movie!"

"What movie was that exactly?"

"Zombieland."

"That's not a zombie survival movie, it's a comedy about zombies and all the stupid things they can't do. First of all, they can't survive in the sun. Sec- Wait! That's it! That's how we can defeat those zombies!"

"What? Watch a comedy movie?" Soos asked.

"No! Expose them to the sun!"

"Dipper, you're a genius! Let's lead them out of the forest!" Wendy said determined.

"Oh shit." Dipper said, looking at his watch. "The sun doesn't come up for another six hours. Maybe we can find some other source of light and draw the zombies right into it. All we need is enough light to kill all the zombies."

"Dude, the school has a big wide open space with white lines on it and it's surrounded by lights." Soos said.

"You mean a stadium? That'll do!"

Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos jump off the tree to the part where there are no zombies. They start to make a run for it. Eventually the get out of the forest and find themselves behind the school campus. They run to the football field and go straight to the power building. Mabel tries to open the door, but it won't open.

"It's locked!" she shouted.

"I can arrange that!" Dipper said. He grabs a fire extinguisher from the wall, and smashes the door open. "Hopefully, nobody will know it was me."

"Come on, let's go!" Wendy shouted. She grabs the rest of the gang, and pulls them inside. "Okay, anybody know how to turn the power on?"

"Um...press that red button." Dipper suggested.

Soos laughs. "Oh yea- Wait. Is it gonna kill everybody?"

"Press that blue button?"

"What does it do?" Mabel asked.

"Beats me."

"Now I have to push it!" Mabel gleefully pushes the button, and all the lights come on... with all the zombies in it. All the zombies start to convulse. All the bloody skin on their body burns off as they dissolve into nothing but ash. Soon, all the zombies burn into ash, leaving the entire football field an ashy mess.

"Wow. I just gotta say this: BURN IN HELL YOU UNDEAD SONS OF BITCHES!" Dipper shouted laughing. "Oh, that felt so good."

"Well, that was surreal." Mabel said.

"And a bit disturbing." Wendy said.

"Yeah dude, all those undead dudes looked like they could use a...uh...oh dude, I got nothing." Soos said.

"Yeah, but ya have to admit. This book sure is right about those zombies." Dipper said, pulling out the journal with the 3 on it. "I wonder if there are any other supernatural beings around this town. Maybe the author had a very specific reason for writing this journal. Maybe there are more journals."

Dipper flips to the first page of the book, and reads aloud:

 **Greetings, my name is S... P... This town is completely crazy, and I fear there is a big threat to the world here. I must find hide this journal before this threat finds it. TRUST NO ONE! Everyone in this town has a deep dark secret.**

"Well, I already know Wendy's deep dark secret, so she's cut." Dipper said. "I wonder where the other journals are."

"Hey, uh, Dipper?" Wendy said, rubbing her arm. "It was fun hanging out with you, even though I did almost get my brain eaten by zombies. Maybe we can hang tomorrow? Ya know, like, getting to know each other?"

"You mean...like a date?"

"No no no no no! I mean, just hanging out!" Wendy said quickly.

"Okay, sure."

"Sweet!"

Wendy gives Dipper a kiss on the cheek, and runs back to her house. Dipper stands there in awe, as do Mabel and Soos.

"SCORE!" Dipper shouted, doing a fist pump. He turns to Mabel and says, "In yo FACE BITCH!" in a rapper voice.

 **End of chapter. I passed all of my final exams! YAY! I don't have to worry about school! Remember to read and review. Until next time. Ciao.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Living Plants Part 1**

Outside the Mystery Shack, Mabel is shoveling out the grass on the side of the shack, while whistling to herself. Dipper walks up to her with a puzzled look.

"I know it's completely obvious but...what are you doing?" Dipper asked.

"Well, I was thinking that the shack could be a little more...GREEN!" Mabel exclaimed. "So I asked Grunkle Stan if I can make a garden outside the shack. And after being rejected several times, I did what any sweet adorable teenager would do."

"Let me guess: Puppy-dog eyes?"

"How did you know?"

"I...actually have no idea. But I'm pretty sure it has something to do with five-year olds. - Anyway, don't ask me to help you, because I'm meeting Wendy somewhere I have no idea where. I think it was called...her house? What kind of place is that?"

Mabel rolls her eyes. "She wants to take you to her house, silly."

"She does? - Wait, ya think she wants me to meet her parents?"

"Go find out!" Mabel pushes Dipper onto the forest path, and Dipper starts on his way. Mabel steps on something while going back to her gardening. "Hello, what is this?"

Mabel picks up a few odd looking green plant seeds shaped like beans. She smiles and continues to shovel, now shoveling frantically.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy are walking down the streets of Gravity Falls talking.

"Wow! I swear to god, your dad has more muscles than me." Dipper said. "I swear, you can like, put a big-ass weight on his shoulder and he wouldn't feel a thing."

"Dude, just because you have gigantic muscles doesn't mean you're invincible." Wendy said.

"You're only saying that because you're jealous of how big men's muscles are."

"What?"

"Don't worry, if ya work out in the gym more often, ya might just learn how to have big muscles like me. But don't try to overpower me, because anyone who overpowers me is just gonna make me wanna kick their scrawny little- OW!" Wendy slaps Dipper across the face.

"Get over yourself, man!"

"Jesus, your hands are like bear claws! Anyway, my point is, you should never mess with men. It's like how you shouldn't mess with these little guys." Dipper pulls out the journal and shows Wendy a picture of a bean-shaped seed.

 **Vineant Seeds**

 **These little seeds create big nasty living vines called Vineants. If they are planted, they will stretch out as much as they can and try to tear apart the one who planted them. The only way to defeat them is to chop them off the ground like weeds.**

"That's not gonna be a problem for me. Mabel's growing too close to the shack. There's no way any of these seeds are around it." Dipper said.

"Okay, I don't know whether or not that's a good thing that you're caring for your sister, or it's a bad thing that you could be wrong about the seeds." Wendy said.

"When have I ever been wrong?"

"Actually, Mabel told me that the only time you're ever wrong is if you're out of school."

"Well, I _am_ one of those top ranking students. Even though when I'm not in school, I tend to goof off like a slacking raccoon, if that...even makes sense."

A lot of banging of pots and pans can be heard from the junkyard Dipper and Wendy are passing by.

"What's all that noise?" Dipper asked. He then see the local hermit of the town laughing and banging on drums. "Never mind."

"Howdy do!?" shouted the hermit. "I'm Old Man McGuckett! I have a rat in this here pot that won't stop making noise!" McGuckett continues to bang on the pot.

"Ew. Gross." Wendy said. "Now you know why I hate walking past this place."

"Because of the rats?" Dipper asked.

"No! Because of the hermit! Although I admit, there sure is a shit load of those in there."

"This place has more than one hermit?"

"NO! It's got more than one rat! Jesus Christ, it's impossible to talk to you!"

Back at the Mystery Shack, Mabel is putting the bean-shaped seeds in the ground, and covering them up. She then grabs a watering can, and starts to water the spots.

"I hope roses come out! Then I can start making bouquets of roses for everyone!." she said happily.

"Mabel! Come inside and help me stack up my merchandise!" Stan called from inside.

"COMING!" Mabel shouted, gleefully going into the house.

Unbeknownst to her, when she went back into the house, the seeds started to grow really fast. All of a sudden, four vines sprouted out of the ground. They start moving around like they have minds of their own. (Which they do, if ya catch what they are) Then, if they had eyes, they'd probably be looking at the shack like a serial killer to a victim.

Inside the shack, Mabel is helping Soos stack up some Mr. Mystery bobbleheads.

"Dude, how's the garden going?" Soos asked. "Are ya growing any pizza plants? Please tell me you're growing pizza plants out there!"

"Soos, pizza doesn't grow on trees, silly." Mabel said.

"Oh...and I'm okay with."

"Men and their funny imaginations."

"Dude, what are you growing anyway?"

"Maybe it's roses. I just picked up some seeds from off the ground. I'm sure they're completely harmless." Mabel said. All of a sudden, vines break through the window and wrap their tentacles around Mabel and Soos. They scream in terror. "I WAS WRONG!"

 **End of chapter. Who's excited for July 13? Please write in the reviews, about how much you're excited for the next episode. Until then. Ciao.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Living Plants Part 2**

Dipper and Wendy are now walking down the path to the Mystery Shack. Dipper is holding a pair of old worn out shoes.

"Why did you accept that gift?" Wendy asked.

"Because when you're dealing with an old dude like that, ya just can't say no to him." Dipper said. "Then again, he seemed like a total idiot, so I guess he wouldn't...really care if we said no."

"Actually, I heard from someone that that guy might have actual feelings."

"Oh...well, on the bright side, nothing bad happened today." Dipper said. However, when they reach the Mystery Shack, they find the whole placed covered in vines. "Ya think I spoke too soon?"

"WAY too soon." Wendy said.

One of the killer vines wraps around Wendy, and carries her. Dipper grabs hold of Wendy's feet, and tries to pull her out of the vine's grip. However, he instead pulls Wendy's boots off.

"Ya know, you should get some boots with laces." Dipper said. One of the vines wraps around Dipper, and throws him into the house through the window. He lands with a thud to the wall. "OW! I sprang my butt-hole!"

"Speaking of butt-holes, I feel like one right now." said a voice. Dipper turns to his left to see Mabel trapped in a ball of vines. She has a nervous smile on her face. "Hi, Dipper. So...how was your day with Wendy?"

"Mabel, stop trying to avoid the subject. What did you do?" Dipper asked with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Long story short, I picked up a bunch of green bean-looking seeds off the ground and when I tried to plant they turned into...well, you can see the rest."

"I can smell the rest too."

"Oh no, dude. That's actually just me." said Soos's voice. Dipper turns around to see a big egg of vines. "Can someone get me outta here, dudes?"

"Well I could try cutting off the tips of every single one, but they all seem to work together to stay alive." Dipper said. He thinks about this for a moment, and then gets a great idea. "I know! I looked up that the most deadliest chemical to a plant is herbicide."

"Oh come on! Where are we gonna get a bunch of spice?" Mabel asked.

"No. Mabel, herbicide is a chemical that causes plants to die when they come into contact with it."

"Oh. In that case...OH COME ON! Where are we gonna get a bunch of chemicals?"

"Um...did it come with the gardening supplies just in case you had to clear out any bad vegetation?" Dipper asked. Mabel stares for a brief. "Just saying."

"Ya know, for someone who doesn't do well outside of school, you're pretty street smart...for a complete dork!" Mabel said laughing.

"Okay, with that outta the way, I'll be right back." Dipper leaves the room through the employees only door.

A few minutes later, Dipper returns to the room with the trapped Mabel and Soos with sprays bottles in his hands. He sprays vines wrapped around Mabel and Soos, and frees them.

"Now then, does anyone want to join me, or am I gonna have to fight this myself?" he asked.

Mabel and Soos each take one spray bottle, and they all run outside and start randomly spraying the Vineants.

"DIE VINE MONSTERS!" Mabel shouted.

"FEEL THE MIGHT OF MY SPRAY BOTTLE!" Dipper shouted. "Nah, not as heroic as what happened with the zombies."

"I CALL UPON THE POWER TO DESTROY THE EVIL VINE RACE!" Soos shouted.

"Now that was definitely more heroic." Dipper said. One of the vineants wraps around Dipper's leg, and picks him up. It then starts pounding his hand on the ground. "OW! Headache! OW! Skull cracked! OW! Brain damage!"

"Leave my brother ALONE!" shouted Mabel, and she charges at the vines and sprays the shit out of them.

Soon all the vineants rot to death. Their burning vine bodies turn into a mess of rotted plants that cover the entire shack.

Dipper stands up, feeling dazed. "Daisy, daisy give me your answer do." he mumbled. "Why is everything spinning?"

"You'll be fine, bro-bro." Mabel said, putting an arm around Dipper to keep him steady. "How do ya feel now?"

"I feel like we're missing something?"

"A couple of burgers and fries to celebrate our victory over the vine monsters?" Soos asked.

"No that's not it. But that does sound like a good idea." Dipper said.

The three walk down the path leading to town to look for a restaurant that sells burgers and fries.

"By the way, what was it that you thought we forgot?" Mabel asked.

"Maybe it'll come back to me later." Dipper said.

Unbeknownst to them, Wendy was still trapped in a giant ball of vines that covers her entire body.

"Hello? Is anyone out there?!" she shouted through the vines. "I need some help here!"

 **End of chapter. I thought it was funny in the last episode with Ford pretending to be a princess. It's like Princess Peach. Until next time. Ciao.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Enter: Gideon Part 1**

Upstairs in the attic, Dipper was reading the journal 3. Looking through all the pages with interest, Dipper was fascinated by how the writer of this journal was so knowledgeable of the supernatural that goes on in Gravity Falls. Let alone, anything about the supernatural period.

"S...P..." Dipper thought, referring to the writer of the journal whose named was ripped at the beginning of the first page. "I wonder if...Nah, that's stupid. Why would I think that Scott Pilgrim wrote this journal?"

"DIPPER! You've got to see this commercial!" Mabel yelled from downstairs.

Dipper goes downstairs into the living room to find Mabel watching the television. On the TV, there was a boy who looked about thirteen, wore blue apparel, and had big white pompadour hair. When he spoke, he spoke in a southern accent.

"Hello, Gravity Falls. It's Lil' Ol' Me, Gideon Gleeful." said the boy. "I can see what others can't see, so if you're interested in seeing your bright, or dark, future, come on over to the Tent of Telepathy. Or, if I'm not in show business, stop by the crystal ball to see me."

When the commercial ended, Mabel was squealing with glee and happiness. "Dipper, we've got to go see this guy so I can see what my future will be!" she shouted.

"I don't know. Anybody with that big of a hairstyle is bound to flirt with any girl, so he'll probably be flirting with you." Dipper said suspicious.

"Come on, I promise I won't take you to see his show. We'll just wait for him at his crystal ball."

"Well, I guess it'll be alright with me."

Mabel squeals with delight.

A few minutes later, Dipper and Mabel were at the Tent of Telepathy waiting at the crystal ball for this Gideon. After a few moments of waiting, Dipper was getting really bored.

"Be right back, I just gotta go to the bathroom." Dipper said.

"Don't leave me here all day." Mabel said cheerfully.

In the bathroom, Dipper stepped into a bathroom stall, and was about to unzip his pants. All of a sudden, he heard a small giggle that sounded very southern from where he was standing. That voice sounded very familiar to him.

"Who's out there?" Dipper said.

"It's just Lil' Ol' Me, Gideon Gleeful. Going to the bathroom." said the voice.

"Well shut up, I'm just an upstanding citizen taking a whiz."

"No you're not." said Gideon. He crawls under the wall separating him and Dipper and peeks up at him. "You're...Dipper Pines. 15 years old, claimed to be a weirdo, and very strong for someone your age."

"Wow, that is just creepy."

"That I know who you are?"

"No, that you're peeking underneath the wall separating the stalls and looking at my crotch."

"Oh, sorry. How 'bout y'all go to the bathroom and we can talk normally."

After both Dipper and Gideon take a whiz, they come out of their bathroom stalls, and turn to look at each other.

"So I was about to enter my crystal ball area, when I noticed your sister." Gideon said happily. "She looked like the most beautiful thing in the entire universe. But she wouldn't date me, even if I AM considered the most lovable person in this town."

"At least, from a town boy's point of view. But from a city boy's point of view, I've seen cuter." Dipper said with a smirk. Gideon kicks him in the leg. "OW! What? I was just absent-mindedly making fun of your adorable appearance."

"I don't consider that to be a natural thing, y'all!" Gideon said. "I'm just asking for advice: How do I get a girl like that to go out with a guy like me?"

"Two words, bro: Show. Manners. Not just to her, but to me. Otherwise, you'll get what's coming to ya!"

"Exactly, what can you do to me?" Gideon said with a smile. "It's not like you know a girl we can use for me to practice on to do to your sister."

"Actually, I DO know someone we can use." Dipper said.

At the Corduroy residence, Dipper watches Gideon dance with Wendy, which is their way of practicing how Gideon is going to work on asking Mabel out.

"What's the matter, little squirt?" Wendy asked.

"Nothing." Gideon said sweating. "I've just never been this close to a...a..."

"Call girl, Gideon. At least, that's what she is to me." Dipper said. "When she told me that she dated a lot of other guys, I considered her to be the kind of girl who dates just for the kissing."

"Which is NOT true, for the last time!" Wendy said annoyed.

"Y'all know, this is kind of like the way someone would have a romantic feeling toward someone else." Gideon said.

"That's because you're dancing in a bright blue suit." Dipper said.

"No, I'm saying that when someone is dancing with a woman, they're attacked because the man turns out to be an enemy agent. So when the woman gets shot with a gun, the enemy agent kills all the other agents and runs over to the girl." Gideon closes his eyes and imagines the whole thing. "So the girl thinks that he's gonna kiss her, but instead, he grabs her throat and starts choking the shit of her." Gideon unknowingly takes Wendy's neck and limply squeezes. "The enemy agent never really loved her, and that girl knew too much, so he had to put her out of the way. He after choking her out, he licks his lips, and thinks that his work here is done."

Unbeknownst to him, Wendy was softly closing her eyes and getting kind of tired.

"Ya know, that's not actually how I would picture it." Dipper said. He takes the sleepy Wendy, and pushes her down. "I would imagine the agent doing that. As in, pushing her down, and giving her penis a great big stomp. After all that pain is gone, all the chick can do is lie down and limply take a last look at her surroundings."

"Yeah, that does make a whole lot more sense. But in real life, that would never happen. I would never do that to your sister, I promise you that. Just look at your girlfriend." Gideon said.

"Yeah, that was perfect practice, right Wendy?" Dipper said. He's left with nothing but a sleeping Wendy. "Wendy?"

Dipper kneels down and knocks on Wendy's forehead three times. She doesn't awaken. Dipper and Gideon look at each other shocked.

"OH SHIT!" they said in unison.

 **End of chapter. Don't worry, I'll try to make more sense in later chapters. Yes, this one was a little creepy, wasn't it? Oh well. Until then. Ciao.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Enter: Gideon Part 2**

"OH MY GOD!" Dipper shouted in disbelief. "YOU KILLED A HOOKER!"

"Call girl." Gideon corrected.

"No small-head, when they're dead they're just HOOKERS! God, I said before we started this whole practice shit not to screw with the woman we're practicing on, didn't I?!"

"Well, I was just checking for-"

"NO! DON'T say that you were checking her pulse! I've heard it all before and it just brings back horrible memories of what happened last time - Course, that girl didn't actually die, she was just knocked unconscious."

"AW MAN, this is really REALLY BAD!" Gideon said panicking.

"HEY! You think YOU'RE upset about this? Guess what? SO AM I!? - Actually, to be quite honest, I'm not much of a happy person. Plus, I'm pretty sure Wendy's ghost is yelling at me right now."

Dipper and Gideon pick up Wendy's limp body, and carry her to the back of the golf cart. Gideon opens the trunk, and Dipper sticks the body into it.

"Aw man, why did I have to get attracted to someone and get advice from her brother?" Gideon said in a terrified voice. To which, Dipper smacks him on the face.

"Look, I know your upset, but if you rag on my advice one more time, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it will be bad!" Dipper threatened. "All right, let's go bury this dead hooker."

With that, Dipper closes the trunk, and he and Gideon get in the cart and drive in the direction of the cemetery. All the while, Gideon is thinking of a way to explain this predicament to Manly Dan.

"Aw man Dipper, how do we explain this to Manly Dan?" Gideon said nervously.

"What's this 'we' stuff?" Dipper ridiculed. "You grabbed her by the throat! Looks like it's the stony lonesome for YOU!"

"But you told me to practice on her."

"Well, ya coulda talked me out of it!"

"I would've, but you seemed crazy!"

"I'M crazy!? Don't look at me, Gideon! You're the one who murdered a perfectly good hooker!"

"By ACCIDENT!"

"That was an accident!? You call THAT an accident!? Dude, it's like you and Mabel had a baby, and named it THIS EXACT SITUATION!"

"Aw man, how do I explain this to Mabel!?"

"You tell her that YOU'RE A CRAZY PSYCHOTIC KILLER, BECAUSE MABEL DOES NOT DESERVE A KID LIKE YOU!"

"What?" Gideon said confused. Suddenly, he pieces the puzzle together. The fact that Wendy didn't move his hands away from her neck, the fact that she let Dipper punch her. With each piece coming together, Gideon was getting so angry that he started to lose his temper. "You...YOU BUTTHOLE! YOU SET THIS WHOLE THING UP! YOU FAKED HER DEATH SO YOU CAN TELL MABEL I TRIED TO KILL HER SO SHE WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH ME!? UGH! I HATE YOU! I SWEAR I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! I WILL KILL EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU LOVE DEARLY! AND I WILL START! WITH! YOU!"

"Jesus Christ, man. You don't have to shout everything you say." Dipper said with a smirk.

With that, Gideon yells in a fit of rage and slams Dipper's head into the steering wheel. He takes Dipper's throat and starts squeezing it, but Dipper pushes him off. As the fight goes on, the cart swerves around the road. Dipper tries to keep the cart on the road without crashing it. Gideon grabs Dipper's head, and tries to push him off the cart. Dipper elbows him in the chest and he lets go.

As the fight continued, the cart passed a police car. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland look up from their game of Sudoku.

"Did you see that?" Durland said amazed.

"Yeah. Those guys weren't just going fast, they were having a roughhouse." Blubs said. He puts on his sunglasses. "Let's roll."

Back in the cart, Dipper and Gideon continue their fight to the death. Behind them, the police car chases after them.

"Great! Now the coppers are chasing after us!" Gideon said annoyed.

"What was that?" Dipper asked. "I couldn't hear you over that siren."

Gideon kicks Dipper in the stomach and puts his head over the edge of the cart again. "This little piggy lied to me!" he said angrily. "This little piggy made the biggest mistake of his life! THIS LITTLE PIGGY DOES NOT DESERVE TO LIVE!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, this is not how friends behave properly." Dipper said nervously.

"UGH! SOME FRIENDS! YOU LIED TO ME TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM YER SISTER!" Gideon shouted. He pulls a knife from his jacket, and grins evilly. "But I'll just make sure you never lie to me again...friend."

Dipper looks up fearfully at the little boy holding a knife to him, ready to stab him in the head. Suddenly, he sees they're about to plunge off the road. He kicks Gideon off of him, and jumps off the cart. The cart rams off the edge with Gideon on it.

The police car pulls over by Dipper, and Blubs and Durland come out of the car to help Dipper up to his feet.

"You okay, kid?" Blubs asked checking Dipper for any serious wounds.

"Yeah, I'm all good and that." Dipper said breathing heavily. "I don't know what just happened though. One minute, I was just playing some harmless 'fake death' joke on child psychic Lil' Gideon, the next minute the kid tries to kill me in a golf cart. I mean, what are the odds in that?"

"Uh, nearly getting killed in a cart accident?" Durland guessed.

"Almost getting murdered by a psychotic kid?" Blubs asked.

"Quite possibly killing him by accident in the process of all of that?" Dipper guessed to himself. "I don't know. It seems hard to believe."

"Come on, let's get you home." Blubs offered. He and Durland take Dipper to the police car, and they drive off to the Mystery Shack.

Unbeknownst to them, Gideon was in the air surround by a blue glow of light. He floats down to the ground where the cart crashed.

"You think this is the end, Dipper?" Gideon said to himself creepingly. "Oh no, this is just the beginning of a beautiful rivalry. You haven't seen the last of Widdle. Ol'. Me."

Suddenly, the trunk opens with a flip, and out comes a dazed and moaning Wendy. She is covered in bumps and bruises.

"Wow. He forgot you and...no one forgets to pick up their girl." Gideon said awkwardly. "Should I call a doctor?"

 **End of chapter. It's sad that Gravity Falls has one episode left, but I'm good with that. All great shows come to and end. Until next time. Ciao.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Picture Petrified Part 1**

Another morning at the Mystery Shack. As usual, Mabel was messing around with some of the merchandise, Soos was doing something Soos-like, and Wendy was sitting at the register. The only thing that was different about today was that Dipper was absent and Wendy had bandages on her head.

"Ugh, man that headache is acting up again." Wendy groaned, clutching her head.

"Oh my god!" Mabel said. "I think you should start a riot against my brother for being an asshole."

"Damn that Dipper. All-brawn-no-brains bastard."

"What's with all the lollygagging?" Stan said, stepping in. "I'm not paying any of ya to sit around and do nothing."

"You should." Dipper said, stepping into the room as well. "After all, it's a Sunday. On Sundays, people go out and get paid overtime because they're too lazy to come into work. Plus, I'm totes interested in taking a nature walk down the road."

"I have no idea what you just said."

"That's because you-" Before Dipper could finish that sentence, he sneezes into his arm four times.

"You okay, dude?" Soos asked. "You like, sick or something?"

"No, it's just allergies. Very bad allergies." Dipper said. He starts coughing up like he's about to cough up his lungs. "And very bad coughs."

"Maybe you should get to bed, sport." Stan said, taking Dipper upstairs.

"No I'm good. I'm sure it's nothing."

"It sure did sound like something a moment ago."

When Dipper and Stan leave the room, Mabel, Wendy and Soos look at each other with concern in their eyes.

"Is he gonna be okay? Because now I feel bad." Wendy said, rubbing her arm. "I mean, looking at him, he looked and sounded like he had a fever."

"Nah. Dipper hasn't gotten a fever since he started going to the gym and being healthy." Mabel said smiling. "Besides, it's not like he's got a disease or something. Am I right?"

"Oh dude, I just remembered." Soos said. "I gotta show ya around town. You're gonna love it, it's got like, a mall, an arcade, and this cool place that sells you fast-food."

"You mean a diner?" Mabel pointed out.

"Yeah dude, a diner."

"Okay, I'll go find a camera."

Mabel exits the gift shop to find a camera.

She goes into the closet in the hallway, and looks through all the stuff in the closet. She comes across an old rangefinder camera with a lot of dust and cobwebs on it. She picks it up, and takes a good look at it.

She returns to the gift shop with the camera and runs up to Soos.

"Okay, I'm ready." she said.

"All right dude!" Soos said. "Can you test out you're camera first? I just wanna make sure it works."

"Sure." Mabel takes a snap shot of a nearby plant. "It works."

"Alright, let's go."

Soos and Mabel leave the shack to look around town and take pictures. Wendy just watches them go, and goes back to her magazine. Unbeknownst to her, behind her, the plant Mabel took a snap shot of starts wilting until it turns brown and dies.

Meanwhile, Soos and Mabel walk around the town and see a bunch of stuff that for some reason, interests Mabel. Then again, it's Mabel so what do you expect. Anyway, they stop at a statue of someone with a beard and pioneer clothing.

"Who's that?" Mabel asked.

"That's Nathaniel Northwest, founder of Gravity Falls." Soos answered. "The dude was like, a millionaire, and his mansion was constructed by lumberjacks. The Northwest family still reside in the mansion. Preston Northwest, his wife, and his daughter Pacifica respect his family name of being snobby. Which people don't actually care if they're snobby, they just care that they're the founder's ancestors."

"Scrapbookertunity!" Mabel shouted, taking a snap shot of the statue. "This is going in my historical sightings section of my scrapbook.

"Come on, dude. There's more to the town then ya think."

Mabel and Soos turn around and walk away from the statue to go to the diner. Unbeknownst to them, when they were out of sight, the statue began to crumble, until the whole thing came crashing down to the ground. People walking by notice this and gasp in terror.

Meanwhile at the diner, Mabel and Soos are eating burgers and french fries.

"These are awesome! Scrapbookertunity!" Mabel said, taking a snap shot of the fries. "There are so many things to take pictures of: Mailboxes, arcade machines, even tall trees by people's houses."

"Dude, you are so getting into the spirit of Gravity Falls." Soos congratulated.

All of the sudden, the police burst into the diner. They turn to Soos and Mabel.

"There she is!" shouted Deputy Durland. "Hey you kids! Freeze!"

Mabel and Soos put their hands up in shock. As the police surround the duo, Mabel and Soos were wondering what they did wrong. They didn't commit any crimes, did they?

"Whoa dudes, what did we do that makes us under arrest?" Soos asked nervously.

"You're both under arrest for terrorism: That includes bending mailboxes, burning arcade machines, cutting down trees and watching them fall on people's houses, and destroying the statue of Nathaniel Northwest." said Sheriff Blubs.

"WHAT!?" Mabel and Soos shouted in shock.

"B-but that's crazy!" Mabel protested nervously. "We were just taking pictures of those things!"

"Take them to the station!" Blubs ordered. The police take Soos and Mabel out of the diner, put them in the police cars, and drive to the station.

Unbeknownst to them, when they left, the burger and fries Mabel took a picture of begin to freeze until they are solid ice.

 **End of chapter. Did you know there's a rumor that Gravity Falls may have a reboot? That and Stan my die. I think both are true. Until then. Ciao.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Picture Petrified Part 2**

Mabel and Soos are sitting in a prison cell in the Gravity Falls Maximum Security Prison. While just sitting around, they were thinking about why the police think that they were terrorists. If they didn't destroy that stuff, who did?

"Dude, I don't know about you but I'm scared right now," Soos admitted. "This is my first time in jail and I don't think I can handle it."

"I just hope Dipper comes to bail us out," Mabel hoped. "But with him sick and all, I guess the only thing to do is take one last picture."

Mabel pulls out the old camera she managed to get past the guards and takes a picture of the bar-covered window. Suddenly, the whole wall comes crashing down. Mabel and Soos are shocked by this sudden destruction.

"Whoa dude, I think I know what's going on here!" Soos said. "It's not us destroying private property, it's the camera!"

"Oh no wonder." Mabel said, pulling out the snapshots she took. "These pictures are of what happen to the objects before we took a picture of them. This camera doesn't tell the future, it MAKES the future! We have to get outta here!"

"But won't the cops chase after us, dude?"

"Maybe not if we show them who or what the real culprit is. Come on, let's go!"

Mabel and Soos jump out the broken down wall and run to the woods. Suddenly, the alarm goes off, indicating that the police know of the escape.

"Attention officers, be on the lookout for the escaped convicts. Repeat, we have escaped convicts!" said a voice on the microphone.

Mabel and Soos run through the woods, jumping over logs, ducking under branches, and running pass trees. Behind them, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland are chasing after them. Eventually, they come to a dead end at a cliff.

"Alright, jigs up!" Blubs shouted. "You two are coming with us back to the Maximum Security Prison, where you'll do nothing but work hard, and think about the terrorism you've done."

"But officer, it wasn't us. Watch." Mabel takes out the camera again. She takes a picture of a patch of grass next to her. Suddenly, the patch of grass begins to wilt, until it quickly turns brown and dies. "See? It was just this crazy evil camera that was doing all that terrorism. I thought it was just an ordinary camera when I found it."

"Hmm. Let me see that." Blubs said curiously. He takes the camera, and takes a snapshot of a nearby log. Suddenly, an army of termites invade the log and chew up all the bark. "Well then, I guess there's only one thing left to do."

Blubs throws the camera onto the ground, and stomps his foot on it. However, the camera didn't seem to get smashed. Blubs stomps on it multiple times, but to no avail. Durland takes a big rock, and throws it on the camera. The camera was still intact.

"Dude, I don't think you CAN destroy that camera." Soos said.

"Hmm. I'll tell you kids what." Blubs said. "If you get rid of this camera and hide it where no one can find, we'll drop all charges against you."

"Sounds good to me." Mabel said. She takes the camera and leaves with Soos.

At the Gravity Falls Lake, Mabel and Soos are looking at the view of the sunset from the beach. Mabel takes the camera, leans back, and throws it with all her might at the lake until it splashes into it, and sinks down into the bottom.

"Even though it was an evil camera, I can't help but feel bad that I had to get rid of it." Mabel said sadly. "I had so much fun with it. How did it turn out to be so dangerous and scary?"

"Dude, I guess the secret is buried for good." Soos said reassuringly. "I wonder how your brother's doing, dude. I mean, looking at him with a fever, I'm pretty sure that dude needs some attention right now."

"Right, my brother. Let's go check on him."

At the Mystery Shack, Dipper is sleeping up in the attic in his bed with an ice pack on his forehead. Mabel and Soos step into the room to see how he's doing.

"Dude, look at him. He looks like one of those dying kids in one of those hospital drama movies." Soos said. "Not that he is dying. I mean, he looks like he's dying, but he's not, so...I'll stop talking now."

"Thank you." Mabel said. "Dipper, it's us."

Dipper wakes up from his sleep. "Ugh, what does a hot guy like me need to do to get a good night sleep around here?" he said.

"You can start by talking to your little sister Mabel, who's been gone all day looking around town and having so much fun while poor you was sick in bed." Mabel giggles.

"Never mind the jokes. What about what you saw in town?"

"Dude, today was like super-acro crazy." Soos babbled. "First, we found this old camera and started taking pictures with it, and then the snapshots came out as-"

Mabel covers Soos's mouth. "What he means is, the pictures came out beautifully." she lied. "In fact, they were so beautiful, we gave them all away. So I guess you'll never ever ever ever see them for yourself. Ever."

"Um...okay." Dipper said awkwardly. "I'm just gonna ignore everything you said, and go right back to sleep. Good night."

"Good night." Mabel and Soos said leaving the room.

Once they're out of the room, Soos wonders why Mabel didn't tell Dipper about the cursed camera.

"Dude, did you just lie to your brother?" he asked.

"Soos, we found a cursed camera that destroys anything it takes a picture of." Mabel reminded him. "I don't want my weirdo mystery-loving brother to find out about that. If he does, he'll go looking for it and see how it works for himself."

"Dude, how is that bad?"

"We never took a picture of a person, did we? Because that's what he'd do, try it on a person."

"Aw dude, think of all the bad things that could happen."

"Exactly, which is why we're going to keep this quiet. No one but us and the police will know."

"Sure thing, dude. So how 'bout we grab a snack?"

"Dibs on the chips!" Mabel makes a run for the stairs.

"Damn." Soos said disappointed. He follows Mabel in hot pursuit.

Unbeknownst to them, someone was watching Dipper from the attic window. In his hands, he was holding a jar with some kind of mosquito inside of it. He giggles a bit to himself in an evil way.

 **End of chapter. There's a possibility that Gravity Falls will return for a third season. Or a comic or special episode at least. Til next time. Ciao.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Into the Tomb Part 1**

At the Mystery Shack, Dipper was reading through the old journal once again. Mabel was right beside him sitting on the counter on her back staring at the ceiling.

"Say Mabes, what do you think will happen if I spell on myself that allows me to look like Elvis?" Dipper asked.

"Could ya stop getting into the whole Elvis thing? It's so weird of you." Mabel joked.

"Ya know for your information, Elvis Presley is jackass awesome, and he knows karate."

Dipper pretends to do karate moves on Mabel.

Wendy walks into the shack.

"Hey guys." she greeted.

"Hey Wendy." Dipper and Mabel greeted back.

"Listen, I was thinking about inviting you two to come with me and my friends to a spot in the forest to screw around a bit. It'll be fun, you'll get to tell scary made-up stories about the forest and how dangerous it can be at night."

"Considering that it probably IS dangerous at night, I'd be crazy to say yes to that." Dipper contradicted. "Good thing I AM crazy."

"Move over, I'm crazy too, ya know." Mabel said running for the door.

"Just so ya know Wen, if this sucks...I don't care if it sucks or not, I just want to do something awesome."

"Trust me, you'll be doing something awesome once we get there." Wendy promised. She gives him two thumps up.

"Where exactly is there?"

An hour later, Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy are in a clearing in the woods with Wendy's friends, Lee, Nate, Thompson, Tambry, and Robbie. Lee, Nate, and Thompson were having a water balloon fight, Tambry was texting, Robbie was sitting on a rock, and Dipper, Mabel and Wendy were having a dart gun fight.

"Ya know, I've never actually done anything fun like this in a while." Mabel said.

"That's because you've never been with an awesome gang before." Wendy added.

"Actually, I'd say a gang has more people than this." Dipper said. "I mean we're like, eight people. Three are girls, and five are dudes. So, I'd say we're more like a group of teenagers who don't know any better about life, and we're trying to live life by having nights of debauchery."

"Do you even KNOW what debauchery means?" Robbie asked.

"Yes, it means we're getting into trouble no matter what, and it's awesome!"

Dipper leans against a pile of old wood. Suddenly, due to how old and rotten the wood is, he falls right through the wood screaming. The others come to check on him."

"Dipper!?" Mabel shouted worried. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good!" Dipper shouted back. "Hey, you've gotta see this! There's like a whole tunnel under here!"

"Should we?" Thompson asked.

"Come on Thompson, you're not scared, are ya?" Lee joked.

"Yeah man, take a step inside the tunnel of doom." Nate added.

"Okay."

The rest of the group step into the tunnel Dipper found and catch up with him. They follow the tunnel for ten minutes until they reach a fork in the path.

"Now this is what I call an adventure into the unknown." Dipper said. "Looking around, we've got four ways to go."

"I dare all of you we leave one person to go on his own through the darkest tunnel with only a flashlight as his guide." Lee said.

"No volunteers. I'm gonna do it." Dipper announced. "I've always wanted to explore a cavern by myself. Besides, you're all probably a whole bunch of sissies."

"Who are you calling a sissy?" Robbie glared. He smacks Dipper upside the head.

"Whoa, Robbie. Don't hit Dipper." Wendy said sternly. She whacks Dipper upside the head as well. "That's my job."

"Whatever, ya dicks. Later." Dipper goes down the fourth corridor.

The rest of the group split into three teams. Mabel goes with Robbie down the first corridor, Lee, Nate and Thompson go down the second corridor, and Wendy and Tambry go down the third corridor. Each group did not know what they were getting themselves into.

Down Dipper's corridor, he was looking at the walls by shining his flashlight onto them. Each wall has a drawing of something on it.

"Okay, this is really really weird. I can swear I know this kind of drawings from somewhere. Did I learn about them in high school?" Dipper asked himself. "Then again, now that I think about it, these drawings could all just be graffiti made by someone who was probably down here before we were. I mean, all of these drawings look very similar to what a mummy would do to you. First, you awaken the mummy by saying these words: Surge, a somno, a mater latet portate."

Unbeknownst to him, behind him was a sarcophagus that was wriggling when he said those words. The sarcophagus opens up to reveal a mummy, but Dipper still doesn't notice.

"Then, when he catches you and he looks you in the eyes, he can turn you to stone." Dipper said looking at the drawings on the wall. "I know I've seen a bunch of weird things in this town, but that is just of a bunch of crap."

Dipper turns around and sees the mummy, and accidentally looks him in the eyes. "Oops."

Down the other corridors, the others can hear the scream of a girl. They run back to the fork to see if everyone is alright.

"What happened?!" Thompson shouted nervously. "There was a loud shriek that sounded like it came from a girl."

"Was that you, Mabel?" Wendy asked. "Because it sure as hell wasn't me or Tambry."

"No, it wasn't me either. The only other person I know who screams like that is-" Mabel gasped. "DIPPER!"

"Where is he?" Lee asked worried. "Come on, he went down that corridor!"

The rest of the group go down the corridor Dipper went down to see and hope he's okay.

 **End of chapter. I admit, the Gravity Falls finale was totally awesome, but it was not what I expected it to be. Ya get me, guys. 'til then. Ciao.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Into the Tomb Part 2**

As Mabel, Wendy, Lee, Nate, Thompson, Tambry, and Robbie down the tunnel that Dipper went down, Mabel was starting to worry about her brother. When they reach the end of the tunnel, to their horror, there was a statue sitting in at the end of the tunnel. That statue was...Dipper.

"DIPPER! NO!" Mabel shouted. She runs over to the statue Dipper and hugs it. She begins to cry. "Why do you have to be so brave all the time?! WHY couldn't you just take someone with you to WATCH YOUR BACK!?" Mabel sobs uncontrollably.

"Wait a minute. Dig that." Lee said. He points to the pictures on the wall. "Dipper must've been reading these before he became a statue. I mean, he must've read all this aloud to himself, cause ya know, I saw how non-bright he was."

"Hey Lee, Dipper may not be bright, but he's a great friend." Wendy defended. She was obviously saddened at Dipper's transformation as well.

"If ya ask me, this is all grafiti, and it's obviously Dipper trying to prank us." Robbie said, obviously not believing what he's seeing.

"NO? THEN WHAT'S THAT?!" Thompson shrieked. He points to an open sarcophagus.

"Dipper must've accidentally awakened a mummy by accident." Mabel said. "I mean, that's cool and all, but...he should've been smart enough to rethink that."

"He should rethink this whole prank, because that sarcophagus has probably been empty the whole time." Robbie said annoyed. "Besides, is he really worth it?"

"OF COURSE HE'S WORTH IT! What kind of question is that!?"

"The kind of question that should be answered by the asshole who started this whole dick prank to begin with."

"YOU'RE THE DICK HERE, ROBBIE! FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK _YOU_!"

"Guys guys." Thompson intervened. "Fighting is not gonna help us save Dipper."

"Would that help us save Dipper?" Nate pointed to a walking person.

The person turns out to be the mummy who attacked Dipper and turned him to stone. The mummy roars and charges. The group screams in fright.

"I GONNA GET YOU STUPID HUMANS! TAKE THIS!" the mummy shouted. He tackles Nate to the ground.

"BLOODY HELL! This mummy is almost as strong as Manly Dan!" Nate shouted.

Nate accidentally looks the mummy in the eyes, and the mummy petrifies him. The group scream again.

"RUN!" Tambry shouted.

The group runs away from the mummy to a hiding place behind a block.

"Okay, how are we suppose to beat that thing? We can't even look at it!" Lee said.

"Wait, there's more writing." Mabel pointed out to the wall in front of them. "' _If the mummy should ever be awakened from its tomb, the only way to return it is to stab it with the spear of Shai, which can only be found at the end of the third tunnel'."_

"Who wrote this, Egyptians?" Robbie ridiculed.

"Well, if that's what it says, let's do what it says." Mabel shrugged. "Break for it!"

The group runs back down the tunnel, but the mummy notices and gives chase. The group reach the fork and go down the third tunnel. When the reach the end of the third tunnel, they find the spear of Shai sitting there in its pedastel.

"Alright, who wants to try to pull it out?" Mabel asked.

"Let me try." Thompson volunteered. He tries to pull out the spear, but he's just not strong enough. "Nothing."

"Alright, I'll try." Wendy said. She takes the spear and pulls it out. "Got it."

"Wen-dy! Wen-dy! Wen-dy!" the group chanted.

All of a sudden, the mummy appears. "FOUND YA!" The group looks at it by accident, and get turned into stone.

Wendy gasps.

"YOU'RE NEXT!" the mummy contradicted.

"OH YEAH! WELL FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" Wendy shouted.

She takes the spear, and shoves it right into the mummy's chest. Blood begins to spurt from the mummy as he convulses. Soon, he ignites into a blinding white light. Everything goes white.

When everything is clear again, Wendy sees that everyone is turned back to normal.

The group goes back down to the place where Dipper and Nate were turned into a statue, and see them back to normal. Dipper sighs in confusion.

"Whoa, wipeout." he said. "I just had a dream that I was eating a man alive."

Mabel gives Dipper a hug, overjoyed to see him alive.

"I'm so glad all that weirdness is over." Nate said sighing.

"Weirdness?" Dipper said. "I ate a man alive in a dream. That's the only weird thing I see in all of this."

"Dude, you were obviously pranking us." Robbie said, still not convinced.

"That's big talk from an emo."

The group walks to the exit out of the tunnel fork.

"This shall forever be known as the temple of Shai." Mabel announced.

"Shai? What is that like your new boyfriend or something?" Dipper asked. "I mean, I just petrified by a mummy, and you're talking about boys?"

Mabel slaps her face at Dipper's cluelessness.

"Speaking of mummies, you think that mummy might return someday?" Tambry asked.

"I doubt it." Lee said.

Unbeknownst to them, when they left the temple of Shai, the sarcophagus was beginning to rumble and shake. Roaring can be heard from inside.

 **End of chapter. There's a reference to one of the episodes in this chapter. See if you can find it if you truly love the show. Until next time. Ciao.**


	11. Chapter 11 I HAVE RETURNED!

**I HAVE RETURNED! I seek to finish this story all the way to the end, even if it kills me. Thanks to The Cowardly Christian 'du199 for his support.**

 **Invisi-Gideon Part 1**

At the Mystery Shack, Dipper is manning the cash register for Wendy since she is taking the day off. While he is sitting at the cash register, he sings to himself.

 _"Oh don't you dare look back / Just keep your eyes on me / I said you're holding back / She said shut up and dance with me / This woman is my destiny / She said oh oh oh / Shut up and dance with me."_

Suddenly, Gideon Gleeful steps into the shack. He sits on a stool in front of Dipper, and puts on the most fake happy expression ever seen.

"Well, hello Dipper Pines." Gideon said with a fake happy voice. "My dear friend, it's been a-"

"Hold it." Dipper interrupted. "Are you carrying a gun or something? Because I'm pretty sure you're one to carry a gun."

"A gun? Me? Now why would I have a gun?"

"Well, you _are_ using a fake happy expression on me. I can only assume you're still mad at me after, I don't know, I played a small harmless joke on you, just to see if you are perfect for my sister? And you totally blew it."

"I didn't blow it." Gideon insisted. "I can be a perfect boyfriend. What made you think I wasn't perfect for Mabel?"

"Well, you _are_ the one that tried to kill me after I played that small joke on you. That was the day I saw you as a, I don't know, poisonous serpent boy with a blood-thirst."

"Yeah, so?"

"What do ya mean 'yeah so'? You tried to kill me in anger, and now you're trying to be nice to me!" Dipper said frustrated.

"My dear Dipper." Gideon said with charm. "I may have said and done some kooky thangs to y'all, but we gotta all put that in the past like men do."

"And?"

"And what?"

"You put all the crimes you did in the past, and theeeennnn what happens?" Dipper smirks.

"Well,...then you forgive me and...let me date your sister." Gideon lowers his head in defeat.

"AHA! I knew it! You're trying to guilt me into letting you date my sister! Fuck off, you dildo! The answer is no!"

Gideon groans and screams in anger. "Say no to me, motherfucker! I'll show you! Mark my words, I'LL GET REVENGE!"

Gideon storms out of the shack. Dipper just leans back in his chair casually. "Damn, I'm good." he said to himself.

At Gideon's house, Gideon is sitting in his room laying face down on his bed grumbling to himself.

"Stupid, dumb, dildo, jack-off, jerk, tits, ass!"

"Jesus, son. Calm down before y'all blow a blood vessel." said Bud, Gideon's father, who steps into his room.

"I'LL BLOW SOMEBODY'S BLOOD VESSEL! AND ALL THAT BLOOD WILL SCATTER THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE ROOM!"

Gideon bangs his head against his wall. Bud sits next to his son on his bed.

"Honestly, Giddy. I think you're very obsessed with this Mabel girl of yours." he said. "The way you describe her to me, she sounds very nice. Ya know, when I met your mother, I thought she was the prettiest little gal in the entire world. When we had you, she was very happy. In fact, she was so happy that she was traumatized by who knows what. If I can offer some advice, give this Mabel gal some space."

"I'm already doing that." Gideon said with a frown. "But I'm not doing it willingly, her stupid jackass of a brother keeps getting in the way."

"Maybe you need to earn this boy's approval first."

"I just tried that last week."

"Really?...Then I got nothing." Bud gets up and leaves the room.

Gideon looks at a drawer next to his bed. He opens it and takes out a worn book with a gold six-fingered handprint with a number 2 on it. He opens it to a specific page.

 ** _Invisibility Jacket: Put this on, and you'll be invisible for as long as you want. But be careful, for if this jacket gets any liquid on it, it will be useless for a whole year. Use it with caution._**

Suddenly, Gideon lit up. Then he smiles deviously.

Out in the woods, Gideon is searching for this so called invisibility jacket. When he finally reaches a very specific spot in the woods, he discovers the jacket. It's actually invisible itself, as it is transparent.

"Wowie. That author feller wasn't kidding when he said invisibility." Gideon said. He tries on the jacket. He is actually so invisible, that he can't even see the back of his hand. He chuckles an evil chuckle. "Did he ever make a mistake to mess with me."

Gideon grabs a long stick off the ground, and snaps it in two. He sharpens up the tip until it's sharp enough to puncture someone's skin.

"I'm coming for you, buddy. Soon, your heart will be the trophy I carry, and your blood will the drink I drink for my victory. Oh ho ho yes, you'll pay, Dipper Pines." Gideon says deviously.

 **End of chapter. Gravity Falls fans get one last code to break and it's a doozy. Until the next chapter of my amazing Gravity Falls series. Ciao.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Invisi-Gideon Part 2**

Up in the bedroom attic, Dipper was reading through the journal. Apparently, there was a page on ghosts. This is what it said:

 _ **Ghosts come in a variety of categories. From low-graded harmless spirits, to deadly dangerous reapers. When dealing with a category 1, you can simply just throw a bottle of holy water at it. But dealing with a category 10, that would have you begging for mercy.**_

"Man, this dude is such a chicken." Dipper said to himself. "I mean, I'd be scared senseless if I had were dealing with a level 10 ghost, but still, what a coward."

Mabel walks into the bedroom, and flops herself on her bed.

"How's my favorite brother?" she asked giggling.

"Only brother is more like it." Dipper contradicted. "I have you ever believed in the existence of ghosts?"

"I believe your a big dork." Mabel teased.

"Yeah, but that don't mean that I'm not the dorkiest brother of a cut-throat bitch." Dipper teased back.

"Oh shut your ass up. I know mini-golf, and I'm aiming straight for your head. Here goes nothing."

Mabel grabs her golf club and ball, and swings the ball at Dipper's head. It makes a direct shot at his forehead.

"Oh, you're right about that." Dipper said clutching his head.

"Whoa. I didn't actually expect that to hit you." Mabel said surprised. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I've had this headache for a while. I mean, can you believe it? First I get a fever, and now I get a headache. It's like there's some kind of virus running through my veins that's giving me a fever and a headache."

"Pfft! You'll be fine. It's perfectly normal for someone to get sick and have a headache in the summer."

Mabel leaves the room skipping. Dipper thinks about what she said, and takes it under consideration that it's just a normal thing. Suddenly, a book comes flying at Dipper, but he ducks just in time for the book to hit the wall instead.

"Whoa shit!" he shouted. "Guess that author dude wasn't kidding when he said ghosts come in a variety of categories."

"That's right, y'all shit-fuck." said the voice of Gideon. "And y'all gonna suffer my wrath, unless y'all give me y'all sister."

"I have to give my sister to a cowboy ghost?"

"DAMMIT DIPPER! It's me, Gideon!"

"What?...Why is there a ghost also named Gideon? Are you the ancestor of Gideon Gleeful or something?"

"JESUS CHRIST NO! I AM GIDEON GLEEFUL!"

"Oh please, Gideon Gleeful was easy to see."

"I _was_ easy to see, now I'm an invisible being with the ability to be invisible. Y'all can't see me no matter how hard y'all try, I'll always be hiding in the shadows of ene- OW!"

Unbeknownst to Gideon, Dipper just followed the sound of Gideon's voice and punched where he was.

"GODDAMMIT! HOW DID YOU FIND ME!?" Gideon growled.

"Because you don't shut up." Dipper said angrily. "Do you really have to come and try to kill me now? I have this huge headache."

"Oh...Well then, why didn't y'all just say so?" Gideon takes off his invisibility jacket and reveals himself to Dipper. He puts on an innocent face. "Dipper my dear friend, you don't have to suffer my wrath now. We can just hold this thang up till tomorrow."

"Okay, why are you being so innocent all of a sudden?" Dipper asked suspicious.

"Oh, you know widdle ol' me. Always being so innocent and harmless."

"Uh,...are you high or something?"

"Oh hell no. I'm just feeling grateful today after hearing about y'all headache. Who would attack a defenseless a opponent? I certainly wouldn't. We can get back to me mutilating your body parts and dumping em into the river later."

Dipper just stares at Gideon with suspicious eyes. After thinking during a long hard stare, Dipper makes his decision.

"Alright fine, go out through the window." Dipper said. "Ya know kid, you got a real murder problem. That not only makes me creeped out, it makes me suspicious. There's something wrong here. I don't know what it is, but you can bet your life, I'll find out."

Gideon giggles mischievously. "Yeah good luck with that." He leaves through the window, and Dipper closes it.

Dipper clutches his head, trying to reduce his headache. "Great, that dickbag's visit made my head hurt even more." he said. He lays down on Mabel's bed.

Mabel steps into the room. She sees Dipper on her bed. "Why are you on my bed? Go sleep on your own bed."

"Shut up, women. I'm trying to reduce my headache." Dipper said. "Therefore, I'm aloud to sleep on anyone's bed I want. Therefore, I'm laying on your bed."

"You're also laying on my bra." Mabel contradicted.

Dipper looks to the side, and indeed sees his sister's bra near his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH" he screamed like a girl.

 **End of chapter. There's a reference to the episode 'Into the Bunker' in here. You think you hard-core Gravity Falls fans can find it. Ciao, yo.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Nightmare Demons Part 1**

Night in the Mystery Shack, and up in the attic bedroom, Dipper and Mabel are getting ready to go to bed. Dipper is still having a headache.

"Ugh, man it's so hard to deal with these kind of aches," he whined. "I mean, if you had a headache like this you would be in bed the entire summer. But I'm positive the headache will be gone by tomorrow."

"I'm thinking tomorrow is the day that I finally go out to make new friends," Mabel declared. "Just imagine, with all the wackodoodles in this wackodoodly town, we'll fit in in no time."

"Speaking of time, it's time to take a manly nap for me and a girly nap for you."

Mabel giggles a bit. "Goodnight, Dipper."

"Goodnight, Mabel."

And the two doze off.

 **XXX**

Inside Dipper's dream, he is surrounded by women in a large grass field.

"Oh yeah, baby," he said soothingly. "Give it to me mama. Show me what ya got, sweetie. You go, girl."

All of a sudden, the sky goes dark and all the women disappear. "Hey, what's the big idea? I'm the one in control of my dreams here."

Yes, but I'm the one in charge of the story. And guess what?

"What?"

You're meeting a bunch of demons.

A triangle forms around where Dipper is standing. A maniacal laughter is heard through the sky. Suddenly, a isosceles triangle-like creature with one eye forms in front of him.

"Well well well well well well well," it said. "Aren't you a sight for sore eye. Mason Pines, isn't it?"

"Uh...yeah, I guess," Dipper said confused. "Is my first actually Mason? Because the only thing people ever called me when I was three was Dipper, and I just thought it was my real name."

"Ha ha. You know, you use to be more intelligent than this. But I like this new you. Name's Bill Cipher by the way, but you can call me the one who will always be in your nightmares."

"That seems a little too long, so I'm sticking with Billy."

"Pfft, whatever. Now introducing some of my friends." Bill opens up a portal, and calls out by name. "8-ball, Kryptos, Teeth, Keyhole, Hectorgon, Amorphous Shape, Pyronica, Pacifier, and...uh...I'm sorry, I always forget your name."

A large black ape-like demon with no head just whines annoyed.

"I can't even understand what you're saying."

"By the looks of it, he's probably saying 'Fuck you, you dick-shaped faggot'."

"I'm a triangle, jackass. Anyway, this is **our** dream now."

All the demons roar and cheer with glee. Dipper doesn't seem to be phased by this.

"This is suppose to be my nightmare?" Dipper said unimpressed. "A triangle, an ugly alien with balls as eyes, a kite shaped weirdo, a giant ape, a pair of jonkers, a naked bastard, a gentleman hexagon, a rubix cube, a fiery pink bitch, and a giant bastard?"

"Who needs clothes?" Keyhole defended. "We demons don't have penises."

"Actually, some demons do have penises, and they have to wear clothes," said Hectorgon.

Keyhole is shocked. "YOU LYING MOTHERFUCKER!" he shouted at Bill.

"What? It's no fun if you can't trick people."

"Clearly I have to turn this into a dream," Dipper declared.

"And how are you gonna do that? Huh? What are you gonna do?" Bill taunted.

Dipper slowly removes all of his clothes. "You all ain't wearing any clothes, therefore I shall remove mine, and we shall all be strippers."

"Excuse me, I believe I **am** wearing clothes," Pyronica pointed out.

"True, but none of the men are wearing any."

"Fair enough."

All of Dipper's clothes are off, and he is completely nude. "Now let's streak!" he shouted.

Bill laughs like a lunatic. "I like this kid," he declared. "We should keep him around."

And so, Dipper and the demons started running around like streakers. Well, technically because they were actually streaking, because the only one wearing actual clothes is Pyronica. I mean, come on, all of the boys aren't wearing any clothes because Pyronica doesn't want them to see her vagina.

"Man, kid, I thought you were gonna be scared of me and my friends, but you are one badass son of a bitch," Bill commented.

"And I thought you were just gonna torture me until I wake up, but damn, you are kickass," Dipper returned. "All of you are kickass."

The demons cheer with glee at Dipper's compliment.

"Say Pine Tree, can I call you Pine Tree, do you think maybe...you can tell me something you've never told anyone else?"

"Like what? That I only own one pair of clothes?"

"Nah, something more personal than that."

"I don't wear any undies under my pants?"

"Dammit!...Ahem, what I mean is...tell me something about like maybe...your life, your school...your _family_?"

"Wait, why did you emphasize 'family'."

"No reason. Feel free to tell me about anything you like though. I'm sure your _family_ wouldn't mind."

"Ooookaaay."

Dipper is getting a little nervous. Bill is probably asking him to talk about his family. Should he keep stalling? Or should he fess up?

 **End of chapter. My older sister just texted me that Chris Cornell of Soundgarden is dead. Without him, what will become of the band. Until next time. Ciao.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Nightmare Demons Part 2**

Dipper hesitated for a moment,...he liked the weird demon, but at the same time, he's questioning whether he should trust him or not. He may not be the brightest person in the world, but he knows the difference between right and wrong.

"Considering it's the only smart part you gave me, author." Shut the dickballs up and get on with it, will ya?

"Um, Bill," Dipper started cautiously. "If I tell you about my family,...would you promise...to not...I don't know...haunt their dreams so much...you know...?"

"How about we strike a deal, Pine Tree. Can I call you Pine Tree?" Bill responded. He puts his hand out. "You tell me everything you know about your family so far, and in return, I shall give you something horrific."

"Horrific? Not sure if I wanna take that deal. I mean, have you seen those movies where someone makes a deal with the devil and then is the first one to die? Seriously. Just watch Venture Bros. Torrid dies from Cthulhu the moment he opens a portal to hell."

"Yeah well this ain't hell, dude. Just ask the angels of heaven, whom I myself couldn't even defeat, and I'm usually the most powerful being in my dimension."

"You always sound so damn gangsta, too," 8-ball added. "Seriously, what's up with that? It's like watching an episode of Batman where you're the Joker."

"My attitude is the best damn attitude anyone in the whole damn multiverse with ever have in their asses."

Dipper thought it over, and Bill definitely had the personality of the Joker. When he watches Batman, he mostly watches it for the Joker considering he's Dipper's favorite character. It might not be the best reason to trust Bill, but...Dipper's gonna take his chances.

"Alright then, I trust you. Mostly because you remind me of the Joker," he said. Dipper begins to talk about his family. "So, my twin sister still acts like a little baby, so I continue to treat her like one. She can be kind of annoying sometimes, but honestly, I love her unconditionally. My Great Uncle Stan, who I call Grunkle Stan, isn't much of a perfect guardian, but he has his moments. He took care of me when I was sick for some weird reason, and I admire him for that."

"Any idea what that weird reason might be?" Kryptos asked.

"No, not really."

"Well, I have a certain idea," Pyronica piped in. "Let's just say...someone close to you will betray you...grab you from behind your sight...THROW YOU DOWN...TAKE OFF ALL HER CLOTHES TO REVEAL HER EXPOSED PARTS-"

"Whoa whoa, slow down, crazy lady," Hectorgon said.

"Let him TALK, man!" Amorphous Shape encouraged.

"-GRABS YOUR DICK AND SHOVES IT INTO HER VAGINA!"

"That so?" Dipper said suspiciously. "That can only mean...YOU are the traitor, Pyronica! Remove your clothes so I can rape you!"

"WHAT!? That is NOT HOW YOU TREAT A LADY!"

"You look more like a man than a woman, bitch."

Pyronica tackles Dipper and beats the crap out of him. They both get into a roughhouse.

"WHORE FIGHT!" Teeth shouted in happiness. He grabs onto Keyhole.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"You're the only one stupid enough to intervene!"

Pyronica reaches her mouth down to Dipper's private parts, and bites into his dick.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!...Actually that's kinda relaxing," Dipper admitted. He leans into it. "Oh! OH! So glad this is a dream world so I don't have to feel any pain."

"I can _make_ you feel pain, but I like you too much to do it," Bill contradicted. "So what else is there about your family?"

"Mostly that I love them dearly, and would die for them."

"You mean something like this?"

Bill puts a mask over Dipper's face, and he suddenly disappears from his view. Looking down, Pyronica has disappeared too. He looks around him and sees that he's inside a burning Mystery Shack. He runs up the staircase to see if Mabel is there.

"Mabel? MABEL?!" he shouted worriedly. "Sis, are you here?!"

"Dipper...help...me..."

The voice is coming from inside the attic bedroom. He runs inside and sees Mabel under a burning pile of collapsed ceiling.

"Dipper...you gotta...save me...," she muttered weakly.

"I GOT YOU SIS!" Dipper shouted in fear.

He tries to lift up the burning debris, but it's just too heavy.

"Is that...it...?" Mabel muttered disappointed. "You...can't do it...can you..."

"No! I can do this!"

"No...you're weak...you can't save me...you can't save anybody...you get everyone into trouble..."

Firewalls appear all around Dipper. He tries to get to Mabel, but the flames got higher and higher. He hears screams all around him in different directions. He sees people like Wendy, Stan, and Soos, all in distress from the flames, and crying for help. But he just can't get to them. He tries to get to Mabel.

When he successfully navigates through all the flames to get to Mabel, he finds her already dead under the rubble.

"NOOOOOO! MAAAABBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL!"

 **XXX**

"AAAAAAGGGGGHHH!" Dipper shouted waking up. He notices it's day.

"Ugh, Dipper," Mabel complained getting up and rubbing her eyes. "You're screaming woke me up. At least it's daytime, otherwise I would've kicked your ass."

Dipper runs over to Mabel and hugs her so tight. "Oh my god, Mabel," he said worriedly. "I had horrible dream."

At first, Mabel was a little confused. But when Dipper mentioned _horrible dream_ , she hugged back.

"What when on in that dream?" she asked.

"I don't know," Dipper said. "At first, I was just having fun with a lot of woman, and these weird demon beings just appeared. I boogied with them for a while, then everything just went...to hell...you were dying..."

"Dying?" Mabel understands now. "Don't worry, it was only a dream."

"I won't let this become real. I don't wanna lose you. You're too important to me than anybody else, even Mom and Dad."

"Don't worry,...I'm not going anywhere as long as you're around. You're very protective and responsible."

Dipper smiles and the two embrace each other again.

"Come on, let's get to breakfast," Mabel suggested. "Say, what did those demons look like anyway?"

"Who cares?" Dipper shrugged. "They were probably a part of my imagination anyway."

The two leave the bedroom.

However, right as they leave...the shadow of the triangle demon appears in the light shining from the window. Then it disappears.

 **End of chapter. We need to resurrect Heartless, like, that would be awesome. Does anyone remember that mysterious guest person, Heartless? We need to bring him back, because he was great when The Gideon Saga was being written. Until next time. Ciao.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Lie-brary Part 1**

That morning, Dipper was reading the journal and Mabel was playing with her dolls.

As Dipper read through the journal, his interest rates were going up. The author has studied much about the paranormal in this town. But the only question is, where is he?

"Hey, Dipper," Mabel spoke up. "Which dolly has a better chance of being prom queen? The unicorn or the pony?"

"The only difference I see in this choice is the horn, so I honestly don't care which you pick," Dipper answered.

"Now Dippy, if you're gonna be rude, talk to the pony."

"Whatever. Now here's _my_ question: What do you think happened to the author of this journal?"

"No offense, but I honestly don't care about _that_. But seriously, brozo, you've been sticking your nose in that book for why too long. Don't you think you might wanna take a break from the whole big-time history mystery thing?"

"Mabel, you know how much I can't resist a good mystery. Plus, this is actually the first day I thought about getting into it, so what's the point of taking a break if you just started?"

Soos steps into the room. "Hey dudes," he greeted. "You wanna see me try to lick my elbow?"

Soos tries to get his elbow in touch with his tongue, but it just isn't possible. "Wait wait, I got this, dudes."

"Honestly, I admire the stunt, but the chances are pretty damn low," Dipper admitted. "Hey Soos, you get the feeling that there's something really odd going around this place?"

"That depends, what exactly do you find odd other than real-life zombies and plant creatures?"

"Uh...everything else, I guess."

"Look dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing something strange in the neighborhood. Like the mailman. I'm pretty sure that dude's a werewolf."

"I don't know," Mabel contradicted. "I saw that guy and I've seen a lot of very hairy dudes in California. I mean, I do believe in the supernatural, but that's probably a common thing."

"Meh. What's common these days?" Dipper added. "Anyway, I'm gonna go to the library so I can have a more quiet place to read the book - I just said I'm going to the _library_. I never thought I would say something so nerdy."

"Maybe you _are_ a nerd," Mabel teased.

"Not as much as _you_ are a turd."

Awkward silence fills the room.

"Oh, fuck you," Mabel grumbled.

 **XXX**

At the Gravity Falls Library, Dipper was reading by a window. As he continued, he noticed that the writing was getting all crazy and wobbly, almost as if the author was trembling in fear while writing. Something bad must've happened to the author, but what?

Just then, the last person he wanted to see today strode up to him. "Hello, dear friend," Gideon gleamed.

"Screw off, cloud-head," Dipper threatened.

"Why would I do that, dear Dipper? I merely want to see what yer readin' that, y'all."

"None of your damn business!"

"Or _is_ it?" Gideon sits beside Dipper. "The world is full of them puzzlin' mysteries. Heck, maybe one would like to share that specific there mystery with a friend."

"Or, one could mind their own frickin' business and get away from my thinking space or I will personally leave you crippled in an alley."

Gideon only chuckles at Dipper's threat. "Empty threats. You really wanna good mystery, feller, the best place is to look is in the far end of the building where all the top shelves have the best stuff."

Gideon skips away, leaving Dipper alone to read. "Jeez, I thought that psychopath would never leave," Dipper said relieved. Suddenly, he gets a strange feeling about what Gideon said. "Then again, what he said seems to mean something. I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try."

Dipper gets up to go to the back of the library. As he goes, Gideon watches from behind a bookshelf.

"Oh, he is _so_ gonna thank me later," he said to himself. He picks a book from the shelf and looks at it in confusion. "The Lorax? Isn't this the Adult Tragedy section?"

 **XXX**

Dipper stands before the bookshelves at the back of the library.

"What else did Gideon say?" Dipper tried to recall. "All the top shelves have the best stuff. The hell did he mean by that?"

Dipper starts looking through the books on the top shelves of all the book cases. Nothing of the sort seemed to catch his interest.

But then, looking at the second top shelf on the third case, he sees some kind of weird book that looks more metal than the rest of them. He pulls on the book to try and take it out, but suddenly, the bookcase suddenly sinks into the ground, revealing a secret passage with some stairs going down.

Dipper peeks into the passage, but all he sees is blackness. He pulls out a flashlight from his jacket.

"Alright Gideon," he said to himself. "What are you dragging me into, ya little shit?"

Dipper steps into the secret passage down the stairs. As he walks down, the bookcase door closes behind him.

 **End of chapter. Let's try to make this more mysterious like the show. Anyway, any of you lot know where I might find a free website where I can write fiction that's not fanfiction? I have some stories of my own I'd like to share with the world. If you know of one, let me know. Until next time. Ciao.**


End file.
